TABLE OF DISCONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
It's perhaps fitting
that I write this introduction in jail- that graduate school of survival.
Here you learn how to use toothpaste as glue, fashion a shiv out of a spoon
and build intricate communication networks. Here too, you learn the only rehabilitation
possible-hatred of oppression.
Steal This Book is,
in a way, a manual of survival in the prison that is Amerika. It preaches
jailbreak. It shows you where exactly how to place the dynamite that will
destroy the walls. The first section-SURVIVE!-lays out a potential action
program for our new Nation. The chapter headings spell out the demands for
a free society. A community where the technology produces goods and services
for whoever needs them, come who may. It calls on the Robin Hoods of Santa
Barbara Forest to steal from the robber barons who own the castles of capitalism.
It implies that the reader already is "ideologically set," in that he understands
corporate feudalism as the only robbery worthy of being called "crime," for
it is committed against the people as a whole. Whether the ways it describes
to rip-off shit are legal or illegal is irrelevant. The dictionary of law
is written by the bosses of order. Our moral dictionary says no heisting from
each other. To steal from a brother or sister is evil. To not steal from the
institutions that are the pillars of the Pig Empire is equally immoral.
Community within our
Nation, chaos in theirs; that is the message of SURVIVE!
We cannot survive without
learning to fight and that is the lesson in the second section. FIGHT! separates
revolutionaries from outlaws. The purpose of part two is not to fuck the system,
but destroy it. The weapons are carefully chosen. They are "home-made," in
that they are designed for use in our unique electronic jungle. Here the uptown
reviewer will find ample proof of our "violent" nature. But again, the dictionary
of law fails us. Murder in a uniform is heroic, in a costume it is a crime.
False advertisements win awards, forgers end up in jail. Inflated prices guarantee
large profits while shoplifters are punished. Politicians conspire to create
police riots and the victims are convicted in the courts. Students are gunned
down and then indicted by suburban grand juries as the trouble-makers. A modern,
highly mechanized army travels 9,000 miles to commit genocide against a small
nation of great vision and then accuses its people of aggression. Slumlords
allow rats to maim children and then complain of violence in the streets.
Everything is topsy-turvy. If we internalize the language and imagery of the
pigs, we will forever be fucked. Let me illustrate the point. Amerika was
built on the slaughter of a people. That is its history. For years we watched
movie after movie that demonstrated the white man's benevolence. Jimmy Stewart,
the epitome of fairness, puts his arm around Cochise and tells how the Indians
and the whites can live in peace if only both sides will be reasonable, responsible
and rational (the three R's imperialists always teach the "natives"). "You
will find good grazing land on the other side of the mountain," drawls the
public relations man. "Take your people and go in peace." Cochise as well
as millions of youngsters in the balcony of learning, were being dealt off
the bottom of the deck. The Indians should have offed Jimmy Stewart in every
picture and we should have cheered ourselves hoarse. Until we understand the
nature of institutional violence and how it manipulates values and mores to
maintain the power of the few, we will forever be imprisoned in the caves
of ignorance. When we conclude that bank robbers rather than bankers should
be the trustees of the universities, then we begin to think clearly. When
we see the Army Mathematics Research and Development Center and the Bank of
Amerika as cesspools of violence, filling the minds of our young with hatred,
turning one against another, then we begin to think revolutionary.
Be clever using section
two; clever as a snake. Dig the spirit of the struggle. Don't get hung up
on a sacrifice trip. Revolution is not about suicide, it is about life. With
your fingers probe the holiness of your body and see that it was meant to
live. Your body is just one in a mass of cuddly humanity. Become an internationalist
and learn to respect all life. Make war on machines, and in particular the
sterile machines of corporate death and the robots that guard them. The duty
of a revolutionary is to make love and that means staying alive and free.
That doesn't allow for cop-outs. Smoking dope and hanging up Che's picture
is no more a commitment than drinking milk and collecting postage stamps.
A revolution in consciousness is an empty high without a revolution in the
distribution of power. We are not interested in the greening of Amerika except
for the grass that will cover its grave.
Section three - LIBERATE!
- concerns itself with efforts to free stuff (or at least make it cheap) in
four cities. Sort of a quick U.S. on no dollars a day. It begins to scratch
the potential for a national effort in this area. Since we are a nation of
gypsies, dope on how to move around and dig in anywhere is always needed.
Together we can expand this section. It is far from complete, as is the entire
project. Incomplete chapters on how to identify police agents, steal a car,
run day-care centers, conduct your own trial, organize a G.I. coffee house,
start a rock and roll band and make neat clothes, are scattered all over the
floor of the cell. The book as it now stands was completed in the late summer
of 1970. For three months manuscripts made the rounds of every major publisher.
In all, over 30 rejections occurred before the decision to publish the book
ourselves was made, or rather made for us. Perhaps no other book in modern
times presented such a dilemma. Everyone agreed the book would be a commercial
success. But even greed had its limits, and the IRS and FBI following the
manuscript with their little jive rap had a telling effect. Thirty "yeses"
become thirty "noes" after "thinking it over." Liberals, who supposedly led
the fight against censorship, talked of how the book "will end free speech."
Finally the day we were
bringing the proofs to the printer, Grove consented to act as distributor.
To pull a total solo trip, including distribution, would have been neat, but
such an effort would be doomed from the start. We had tried it before and
blew it. In fact, if anyone is interested in 4,000 1969 Yippie calendars,
they've got a deal. Even with a distributor joining the fight, the battle
will only begin when the books come off the press. There is a saying that
"Freedom of the press belongs to those who own one." In past eras, this was
probably the case, but now, high speed methods of typesetting, offset printing
and a host of other developments have made substantial reductions in printing
costs. Literally anyone is free to print their own works. In even the most
repressive society imaginable, you can get away with some form of private
publishing. Because Amerika allows this, does not make it the democracy Jefferson
envisioned. Repressive tolerance is a real phenomenon. To talk of true freedom
of the press, we must talk of the availability of the channels of communication
that are designed to reach the entire population, or at least that segment
of the population that might participate in such a dialogue. Freedom of the
press belongs to those that own the distribution system. Perhaps that has
always been the case, but in a mass society where nearly everyone is instantaneously
plugged into a variety of national communications systems, wide-spread dissemination
of the information is the crux of the matter. To make the claim that the right
to print your own book means freedom of the press is to completely misunderstand
the nature of a mass society. It is like making the claim that anyone with
a pushcart can challenge Safeway supermarkets, or that any child can grow
up to be president.
State legislators, librarians,
PTA members, FBI agents, church-goers, and parents: a veritable legion of
decency and order already is on the march. To get the book to you might be
the biggest challenge we face. The next few months should prove really exciting.
Obviously such a project
as Steal This Book could not have been carried out alone. Izak Haber shared
the vision from the beginning. He did months of valuable research and contributed
many of the survival techniques. Carole Ramer and Gus Reichbach of the New
York Law Commune guided the book through its many stages. Anna Kaufman Moon
did almost all the photographs. The cartoonists who have made contributions
include Ski Williamson and Gilbert Sheldon. Tom Forcade, of the UPS, patiently
did the editing. Bert Cohen of Concert Hall did the book's graphic design.
Amber and John Wilcox set the type. Anita Hoffman and Lynn Borman helped me
rewrite a number of sections. There are others who participated in the testing
of many of the techniques demonstrated in the following pages and for obvious
reasons have to remain anonymous. There were perhaps over 50 brothers and
sisters who played particularly vital roles in the grand conspiracy. Some
of the many others are listed on the following page. We hope to keep the information
up to date. If you have comments, law suits, suggestions or death threats,
please send them to: Dear Abbie P.0. Box 213, Cooper Station, New York, NY
10003. Many of the tips might not work in your area, some might be obsolete
by the time you get to try them out, and many addresses and phone numbers
might be changed. If the reader becomes a participating researcher then we
will have achieved our purpose.
Watch for a special
edition called Steal This White House, complete with blueprints of underground
passages, methods of jamming the communications network and a detailed map
of the celebrated room where according to Tricia Nixon, "Daddy loves to listen
to Mantovanni records, turn up the air conditioner full blast, sit by the
fireplace, gaze out the window to the Washington Monument and meditate on
those difficult problems that face all the peoples of this world."
December,
1970
Cook County Jail
Chicago
"FREE SPEECH IS THE RIGHT TO SHOUT
'THEATER' IN A CROWDED FIRE."
- A YIPPIE PROVERB
AIDING AND ABETTING
Tim Leary, Tom, Geronimo,
Pearl Paperhanger, Sonny, Pat Solomon, Allan Katzman, Jacob Kohn, Nguyen Van
Troi, Susan, Marty, Andy, Ami, Marshall Bloom, Viva, Ben, Oanh, Robin Palmer,
Mom and Dad, Janie Fonda, Jerry, Denis, LNS, Bernadine Dohrn, a wall in Harvard
Square, Nancy, an anonymous stewardess, Shirley Wonderful, Roz, Gumbo, Janis,
Jimi, Dylan Liberation Front, Jeannie, God Slick, John, David, Rusty, Barney,
Richard, Denny, Ron Cobb, the entire Viet Cong, Sam Shephard, Ma Bell, Eric,
David, Joe, Kim Agnew, the Partridge Family, Carol, Alan Ginsburg, Woman's
Lib, Julius Lester, Lenny Bruce, Hack, Billy, Paul, Willy, Colleen, Sid, Johnny
Appleseed, the Rat, Craig, Che, Willie Sutton, Wanda, EVO, Jeff, Crazy Horse,
Huey, Casey, Bobby, Alice, Mao, Rip, Ed, Bob, Gay Liberation Front, WPAX,
Frank Dudock, Manny, Mungo, Lottie, Rosemary, Marshall, Rennie, Judy, Jennifer,
Mr. Martin, Keith, Madame Binh, Mike, Eleanor, Dr. Spock, Afeni, Candice,
the Tupamaros, Berkeley Tribe, Gilbert Sheldon, Stanley Kubrick, Sam, Anna,
Skip Williamson, UPS, Andy Stapp, the Yippies, Richard Brautigan, Jano, Carlos
Marighella, the Weathermen, Julius Jennings Hoffman, Quentin, the inmates
of TIER A-l Cook County Jail, Houdini, 37, Rosa Luxemberg, the Kent 25, the
Chicago 15, the New York 21, the Motor City 3, the Indianapolis 500, Jack,
Joan, Malcolm X, Mayakovsky, Dotson, R. Crumb, Daniel Clyne, Justin, The FBI
Top 10 (now 16), Unis, Dana, Jim Morrison, Brian, John, Gus, Ruth, Nancy Unger,
Pun, Jomo, Peter, Mark Rudd, Billy Kunstler, Genie, Ken, the Law Commune,
Paula, Robby, Terry, Dianna, Angela, Ted, Phil, Jefferson Airplane, Len, Tricky
Prickers, the Berrigans, Stu, Rayanne, J.B., Jonathan Jackson, the Armstrong
Brothers, Homer, Sharon, Fred Hampton, Jean Jacques Lebel, A. H. Maslow, Hanoi
Rose, Sylvia, Fellini, Amaru, Ann Fettamen, Artaud, Bert, Merrill, Lynne,
and last but not least to Spiro what's his name who provided the incentive.
SURVIVE!
FREE FOOD
RESTAURANTS
In a country such as
Amerika, there is bound to be a hell-of-a-lot food lying around just waiting
to be ripped off. If you want to live high off the hog without having to do
the dishes, restaurants are easy pickings. In general, many of these targets
are easier marks if you are wearing the correct uniform. You should always
have one suit or fashionable dress outfit hanging in the closet for the proper
heists. Specialized uniforms, such as nun and priest garb, can be most helpful.
Check out your local uniform store for a wide range of clothes that will get
you in, and especially out, of all kinds of stores. Every movement organization
should have a prop and costume department.
In every major city
there are usually bars that cater to the New Generation type riff-raff, trying
to hustle their way up the escalator of Big Business. Many of these bars have
a buffet or hors-d'oeuvres served free as a come-on to drink more mindless
booze. Take a half-empty glass from a table and use it as a prop to ward off
the anxious waitress. Walk around sampling the free food until you've had
enough. Often, there are five or six such bars in close proximity, so moving
around can produce a delightful "street smorgasbord." Dinner usually begins
at 5:00 PM.
If you are really hungry,
you can go into a self-service cafeteria and finish the meal of someone who
left a lot on the plate. Self-service restaurants are usually good places
to cop things like mustard, ketchup, salt, sugar, toilet paper, silverware
and cups for home use. Bring an empty school bag and load up after you've
cased the joint. Also, if you can stomach the food, you can use slugs at the
automat. Finishing leftovers can be worked in even the fanciest of restaurants.
When you are seated at a place where the dishes still remain, chow-down real
quick. Then after the waitress hands you the menu, say you have to meet someone
outside first, and leave.
There are still some
places where you can get all you can eat for a fixed price. The best of these
places are in Las Vegas. Sew a plastic bag onto your tee-shirt or belt and
wear a loose-fitting jacket or coat to cover any noticeable bulge. Fried chicken
is the best and the easiest to pocket, or should we say bag. Another trick
is to pour your second free cup of hot coffee into the plastic bag sewed inside
your pocket and take it with you.
At large take-out stands
you can say you or your brother just picked up an order of fifteen hamburgers
or a bucket of chicken, and got shorted. We have never seen or heard of anybody
getting turned down using this method. If you want to get into a grand food
heist from take-out stands, you can work the following nervy bit: from a pay
phone, place an order from a large delivery restaurant. Have the order sent
to a nearby apartment house. Wait a few minutes in the booth after you've
hung up, as they sometimes call back to confirm the order. When the delivery
man goes into the apartment house to deliver the order, you can swipe the
remaining orders that are still in his truck.
In fancy sit-down restaurants,
you can order a large meal and halfway through the main course, take a little
dead cockroach or a piece of glass out of your pocket and place it deftly
on the plate. Jump up astonished and summon the headwaiter. "Never have I
been so insulted. I could have been poisoned" you scream slapping down the
napkin. You can refuse to pay and leave, or let the waiter talk you into having
a brand new meal on the house for this terrible inconvenience.
In restaurants where
you pay at the door just before leaving, there are a number of free-loading
tricks that can be utilized. After you've eaten a full meal and gotten the
check, go into the restroom. When you come out go to the counter or another
section of the restaurant and order coffee and pie. Now you have two bills.
Simply pay the cheaper one when you leave the place. This can be worked with
a friend in the following way. Sit next to each other at the counter. He should
order a big meal and you a cup of coffee. Pretend you don't know each other.
When he leaves, he takes your check and leaves the one for the large meal
on the counter. After he has paid the cashier and left the restaurant, you
pick up the large check, and then go into the astonishment routine, complaining
that somebody took the wrong check. You end up only paying for your coffee.
Later, meet your partner and reverse the roles in another place.
In all these methods,
you should leave a good tip for the waiter or waitress, especially with the
roach-in-the-plate gambit. You should try to avoid getting the employees in
trouble or screwing them out of a tip.
One fantastic method
of not only getting free food but getting the best available is the following
technique that can be used in metropolitan areas. Look in a large magazine
shop for gourmet digests and tourist manuals. Swipe one or two and copy down
a good name from the masthead inside the cover. Making up a name can also
work. Next invest $5.00 to print business cards with the name of the magazine
and the new "associate editor." Call or simply drop into a fancy restaurant,
show a copy of the magazine and present the manager with your card. They will
insist that the meal be on the house.
Great places to get
fantastic meals are weddings, bar-mitzvahs, testimonials and the like. The
newspaper society sections have lists of weddings and locations. If your city
has a large Jewish population, subscribe to the newspaper that services the
Jewish community. There are extensive lists in these papers of family occasions
where tons of good food is served. Show up at the back of the synagogue a
few hours after the affair has begun with a story of how you'd like to bring
some leftovers of "good Jewish food" back to your fraternity or sorority.
If you want to get the food served to you out front, you naturally have to
disguise yourself to look straight. Remarks such as, "I'm Marvin's cousin,"
or learning the bride's name, "Gee, Dorothy looks marvelous" are great. Lines
like "Betty doesn't look pregnant" are frowned upon. A man and woman team
can work this free-load much better than a single person as they can chatter
back and forth while stuffing themselves.
If you're really into
a classy free meal, and you are in a city with a large harbor, check out the
passenger ship section in the back pages of the newspaper. There you find
the schedule of departures for ocean cruises. Most trips (these kind, anyway)
begin with a fantastic bon voyage party on board ship. Just walk on a few
hours before departure time and start swinging. Champagne, caviar, lobster,
shrimp and more, all as free as the open seas. If you get really bombed and
miss getting off, you can also wiggle a ride across the ocean. You get sent
back as soon as you hit the other side, but it's a free ocean cruise. You
should have a pretty good story ready to go, or you might end up rowing in
the galley.
Another possibility
for getting a free meal is to go down to the docks and get friendly with a
sailor. He can often invite you for dinner on board ship. Foreign sailors
are more than glad to meet friends and you can get great foreign dinners this
way.
FOOD PROGRAMS
In Amerika, there is
a national food stamp program that unfortunately is controlled by the states.
Many states, for racist reasons, do not want to make it too available or to
publicize the fact that it even exists. It is a much better deal than the
food program connected with welfare, because you can use the stamps to buy
any kind of food. The only items excluded are tobacco products and alcoholic
beverages. In general, you can qualify if you earn less than $165 per month;
the less you earn, the more stamps you can receive. There is minimal hassle
involved once you get by the first hurdle. Show up at your local food stamp
office, which can be found by calling the Welfare Department in our city.
Make an appointment to see a representative for your area. They will tell
you to bring all sorts of receipts, but the only thing you need are a few
rent stubs for the most recent months. An array of various receipt books is
a nice supplement to one's prop room. If the receipts are for a high rent,
tell them you rent a room from a group of people and eat separately. They
really only want to prove that you have cooking facilities. Once you get the
stamps, you can pick them up regularly. Some states even mail them to your
pad. You can get up to a hundred dollars worth of free purchases a month per
person in the most liberal states.
Large amounts of highly
nutritional food can be gotten for as little as three cents per meal from
a non-profit organization called Multi-Purpose Food for Millions Foundation,
Inc., 1800 Olympic Ave., Santa Monica, California. Write and they will send
you details.
SUPERMARKETS
Talking about food in
Amerika means talking about supermarkets-mammoth neon lighted streets of food
packaged to hoodwink the consumers. Many a Yippie can be found in the aisles,
stuffing his pockets with assorted delicacies. We have been shoplifting from
supermarkets on a regular basis without raising the slightest suspicion, ever
since they began.
We are not alone, and
the fact that so much stealing goes on and the supermarkets still bring in
huge profits shows exactly how much overcharging has occurred in the first
place. Supermarkets, like other businesses, refer to shoplifting as "inventory
shrinkage." It's as if we thieves were helping Big Business reduce weight.
So let's view our efforts as methods designed to trim the economy and push
forward with a positive attitude.
Women should never go
shopping without a large handbag. In those crowded aisles, especially the
ones with piles of cases, all sorts of goodies can be transferred from shopping
cart to handbag. A drop bag can be sewn inside a trench coat, for more efficient
thievery. Don't worry about the mirrors; attendants never look at them. Become
a discriminating shopper and don't stuff any of the cheap shit in your pockets.
Small bottles and jars
often have the same size cap as the larger expensive sizes. If they have the
price stamped on the cap, switch caps, getting the larger size for the cheaper
price. You can empty a pound box of margarine and fill it with sticks of butter.
Small narrow items can be hidden in the middle of rolls of toilet paper. Larger
supermarkets sell records. You can sneak two good LP's into one of those large
frozen pizza boxes. In the produce department, there are bags for fruit and
vegetables. Slip a few steaks or some lamb chops into the bottom of a large
brown bag and pile some potatoes on top. Have a little man in the white coat
weigh the bag, staple it and mark the price. With a black crayon you can mark
your own prices, or bring your own adhesive price tags.
It's best to work shoplifting
in the supermarket with a partner who can act as look-out and shield you from
the eyes of nosy employees, shoppers and other crooks trying to pick up some
pointers. Work out a prearranged set of signals with your partner. Diversions,
like knocking over displays, getting into fist fights with the manager, breaking
plate glass windows and such are effective and even if you don't get anything
they're fun. Haven't you always wanted to knock over those carefully constructed
nine-foot pyramids of garbage?
You can walk into a
supermarket, get a few items from the shelves, and walk around eating food
in the aisles. Pick up some cherries and eat them. Have a spoon in your pocket
and open some yogurt. Open a pickle or olive jar. Get some sliced meat or
cheese from the delicatessen counter and eat it up, making sure to ditch the
wrapper. The cart full of items, used as a decoy, can just be left in an aisle
before you leave the store.
Case the joint before
pulling a big rip-off. Know the least crowded hours, learn the best aisles
to be busy in, and check out the store's security system. Once you get into
shoplifting in supermarkets, you'll really dig it. You'll be surprised to
learn that the food tastes better.
Large scale thievery
can best be carried out with the help of an employee. Two ways we know of
work best. A woman can get a job as a cashier and ring up a small bill as
her brothers and sisters bring home tons of stuff.
The method for men involves
getting a job loading and unloading trucks in the receiving department. Some
accomplices dressed right can just pull in and, with your help, load up on
a few cases. Infiltrating an employee into a store is probably the best way
to steal. Cashiers, sales clerks, shippers, and the like are readily available
jobs with such high turnover and low pay that little checking on your background
goes on. Also, you can learn what you have to do in a few days. The rest of
the week, you can work out ways to clean out the store. After a month or so
of action you might want to move on to another store before things get heavy.
We know one woman working as a cashier who swiped over $500 worth of food
a week. She had to leave after a month because her boss thought she was such
an efficient cashier that he insisted on promoting her to a job that didn't
have as many fringe benefits for her and her friends.
Large chain stores like
Safeway throw away day-old vegetables, the outer leaves of lettuce, celery
and the like. This stuff is usually found in crates outside the back of the
building. Tell them you're working with animals at the college labs, or that
you raise guinea pigs. They might even get into saving them for you, but if
they don't just show up before the garbage is collected, (generally early
in the morning), and they'll let you cart away what you want.
Dented cans and fruit
can often be gotten free, but certainly at a reduced rate. They are still
as good as the undamaged ones. So be sure to dent all your cans before you
go to the cashier.
Look up catering services
and businesses that service factories and office buildings with ready-made
sandwiches. Showing up at these places at the right times (catering services
on late Sunday night and sandwich dealers at 5:00 PM on weekdays) will produce
loads of good food. Legally, they have to dispose of the food that's left
over. They would be more than happy to give it to you if you spin a good story.
Butchers can be hustled
for meat scraps with meat scraps with a "for my dog" story, and bakeries can
be asked for day-old rolls and bread.
WHOLESALE MARKETS
Large cities all have
a wholesale fruit and vegetable area where often the workers will give you
tons of free food just for the asking. Get a good story together. Get some
church stationery and type a letter introducing yourself "to whom it may concern,"
or better still, wear some clerical garb. Orchards also make good pickings
just after the harvest has been completed.
Factories often will
give you a case or two of free merchandise for a "charitable" reason. Make
some calls around town and then go pick up the stuff at the end of the week.
A great idea is to get a good list of a few hundred large corporations around
the country by looking up their addresses at the library. Poor's Register
of Companies, Directors and Executives has the most complete list. Send them
all letters complaining about how the last box of cereal was only half full,
or you found a dead fly in the can of peaches. They often will send you an
ample supply of items just to keep you from complaining to your friends or
worse, taking them to court. Often you can get stuff sent to you by just telling
them how good their product is compared to the trash you see nowadays. You
know the type of letter - "Rice Krispies have had a fantastic effect on my
sexual prowess," or "Your frozen asparagus has given a whole new meaning to
my life." In general though, the nasties get the best results.
Slaughterhouses usually
have meat they will give away. They are anxious to give to church children's
programs and things like that. In most states, there is a law that if the
slab of meat touches the ground, they have to throw it away. Drop around meat
houses late in the day and trip a few trucks.
Fishermen always have
hundreds of pounds of fish that have to be thrown out. You can have as much
as you can cart away, generally just for the asking. Boats come in late in
the afternoon and they'll give you some of the catch, or you can go to the
markets early in the morning when the fishing is best.
These methods of getting
food in large quantities can only be appreciated by those who have tried it.
You will be totally baffled by the unbelievable quantities of food that will
be laid on you and with the ease of panhandling.
Investing in a freezer
will allow you to bi-weekly or even monthly trips to the wholesale markets
and you'll get the freshest foods to boot. Nothing can beat getting it wholesale
for free. Or is it free for wholesale? In any event, "bon appetit."
FOOD CONSPIRACIES
Forming a food cooperative
is one of the best ways to promote solidarity and get every kind of food you
need to survive real cheap. It also provides a ready-made bridge for developing
alliances with blacks, Puerto Ricans, chicanos and other groups fighting our
common oppressor on a community level.
Call a meeting of about
20 communes, collectives or community organizations. Set up the ground rules.
There should be a hard-core of really good hustlers that serve as the shopping
or hunting party and another group of people who have their heads together
enough to keep records and run the central distribution center. Two or three
in each group should do it. They can get their food free for the effort. Another
method is to rotate the activity among all members of the conspiracy. The
method you choose depends upon your politics and whether you favor a division
of labor or using the food conspiracy as a training for collective living.
Probably a blend of the two is best, but you'll have to hassle that out for
yourself. The next thing to agree upon is how the operation and all the shit
you get will be paid for. This is dependent on a number of variables, so we'll
map out one scheme and you can modify it to suit your particular situation.
Each member of every commune could be assessed a fee for joining. You want
to get together about $2,000, so at 200 members, this is ten bucks a piece.
After the joining fee, each person or group has to pay only for the low budget
food they order, but some loot is needed to get things rolling. The money
goes to getting a store front or garage, a cheap truck, some scales, freezers,
bags, shelving, chopping blocks, slicer and whatever else you need. You can
get great deals by looking in the classified ads of the local overground newspaper
and checking for restaurants or markets going out of business. Remember the
idea of a conspiracy is to get tons of stuff at real low prices or free into
a store front, and then break it down into smaller units for each group and
eventually each member. The freezers allow you to store perishables for a
longer time.
The hunting party should
be well acquainted with how to rip off shit totally free and where all the
best deals are to be found. They should know what food is seasonal and about
nutritional diets. There is a lot to learn, such as where to get raw grains
in 100 pounds lots and how to cut up a side of beef. A good idea is to get
a diet freak to give weekly talks in the store front. There can also be cooking
lessons taught, especially to men, so women can get out of the kitchen.
Organizing a community
around a basic issue of survival, such as food, makes a lot of nitty gritty
sense. After your conspiracy gets off the ground and looks permanent, you
should seek to expand it to include more members and an emergency food fund
should be set up in case something happens in the community. There should
also be a fund whereby the conspiracy can sponsor free community dinners tied
into celebrations. Get it together and join the fight for a world-wide food
conspiracy. Seize the steak!
CHEAP CHOW
There are hundreds of
good paperback cook books with nutritional cheap recipes available in any
bookstore. Cooking is a vastly overrated skill. The following are a few all-purpose
dishes that are easy to make, nutritional and cheap as mud pies. You can add
or subtract many of the ingredients for variety.
Hog Farm Granola Breakfast (Road Hog Crispies)
½ c millet 2 c raw oats
½ c cracked wheat 1 c rye flakes
½ c buckwheat groats 1 c wheat flakes
½ c wheat germ 1 c dried fruits and/or nuts
½ c sunflower seeds 3 tbs soy oil
¼ c sesame seeds 1 c honey
2 tbs cornmeal
Boil the millet in a
double boiler for 1/2 hour. Mix in a large bowl all the ingredients including
the millet. The soy oil and honey should be heated in a saucepan over a low
flame until bubbles form. Spread the cereal in a baking pan and cover with
the honey syrup. Toast in oven until brown. Stir once or twice so that all
the cereal will be toasted. Serve plain or with milk. Refrigerate portion
not used in a covered container. Enough for ten to twenty people. Make lots
and store for later meals. All these ingredients can be purchased at any health
store in a variety of quantities. You can also get natural sugar if you need
a sweetener. If bought and made in quantity, this fantastically healthy breakfast
food will be cheaper than the brand name cellophane that passes for cereal.
Whole Earth Bread
1 c oats, corn meal, or wheat germ 2 tsp salt
1½ c water (warm) 2 egg yolks
¼ c sugar (raw is best) 4 c flour
1 pkg active dry yeast _ c corn oil
1 c dry milk or butter
Stir lightly in a large
bowl the oats, cornmeal or wheat germ (depending on the flavor bread you desire),
the water and sugar. Sprinkle in the yeast and wait 10 minutes for the yeast
to do its thing. Add salt, egg yolks, corn oil and dry milk. Mix with a fork.
Blend in the flour. The dough should be dry and a little lumpy. Cover with
a towel and leave in a warm place for a half hour. Now mash, punch, blend
and kick the dough and return it covered to its warm place. The dough will
double in size. When this happens, separate the dough into two even masses
and mash each one into a greased bread (loaf) pan. Cover the pans and let
sit until the dough rises to the top of the pans. Bake for 40-45 minutes in
a 350 degree oven that has not been pre-heated. A shallow tray of water in
the bottom of the oven will keep the bread nice and moist. When you remove
the pans from the oven, turn out the bread into a rack and let it cool off.
Once you get the hang of it, you'll never touch ready-made bread, and it's
a gas seeing yeast work.
Street Salad
Salad can be made by
chopping up almost any variety of vegetables, nuts and fruits including the
stuff you panhandled at the back of supermarkets; dandelions, shav, and other
wild vegetables; and goods you ripped off inside stores or from large farms.
A neat fresh dressing consists of one part of oil, two parts wine vinegar,
finely chopped garlic cloves, salt and pepper. Mix up the ingredients in a
bottle and add to the salad as you serve it. Russian dressing is simply mayonnaise
and ketchup mixed.
Yippie Yogurt
Yogurt is one of the
most nutritional foods in the world. The stuff you buy in stores has preservatives
added to it reducing its health properties and increasing the cost. Yogurt
is a bacteria that spreads throughout a suitable culture at the correct temperature.
Begin by going to a Turkish or Syrian restaurant and buying some yogurt to
go. Some restaurants boast of yogurt that goes back over a hundred years.
Put it in the refrigerator.
Now prepare the culture
in which the yogurt will multiply. The consistency you want will determine
what you use. A milk culture will produce thin yogurt, while sweet cream will
make a thicker batch. It's the butter fat content that determines the consistency
and also the number of calories. Half milk and half cream combines the best
of both worlds. Heat a quart of half and half on a low flame until just before
the boiling point and remove from the stove. This knocks out other bacteria
that will compete with the yogurt. Now take a tablespoon of the yogurt you
got from the restaurant and place it in the bottom of a bowl (not metal).
Now add the warm liquid. Cover the bowl with a lid and wrap tightly with a
heavy towel. Place the bowl in a warm spot such as on top of a radiator or
in a sunny window. A turned-off oven with a tray of boiling water placed in
it will do well. Just let the bowl sit for about 8 hours (overnight). The
yogurt simply grows until the whole bowl is yogurt. Yippie! It will keep in
the refrigerator for about two weeks before turning sour, but even then, the
bacteria will produce a fresh batch of top quality. Remember when eating it
to leave a little to start the next batch. For a neat treat add some honey
and cinnamon and mix into the yogurt before serving. Chopped fruit and nuts
are also good.
Rice and Cong Sauce
1 c brown rice vegetables
2 c water 2½ tbs soy sauce
tsp salt
Bring the water to a
boil in a pot and add the salt and rice. Cover and reduce flame. Cooking time
is about 40 minutes or until rice has absorbed all the water. Meanwhile, in
a well-greased frying pan, saute a variety of chopped vegetables you enjoy.
When they become soft and brownish, add salt and 2 cups of water. Cover with
a lid and lower flame. Simmer for about 40 minutes, peeking to stir every
once in a while. Then add 2 1/2 tbs of soy sauce, stir and cook another 10
minutes. The rice should be just cooling off now, so add the sauce to the
top of it and serve. Great for those long guerrilla hikes. This literally
makes up almost the entire diet of the National Liberation Front fighter.
Weatherbeans
1 lb red kidney beans 2 tbs parsley (chopped)
2 quarts water ½ lb pork, smoked sausage
1 onion (chopped) or ham hock
1 tbs celery (chopped) 1 lg bay leaf
1 tsp garlic (minced) salt to season
Rinse the beans, then
place in covered pot and add water and salt. Cook over low flame. While cooking,
chop up meat and brown in a frying pan. Add onion, celery, garlic and parsley
and continue sauteing over low flame. Add the pieces of meat, vegetables and
bay leaf to the beans and cook covered for 1 1/2 to 2 hours. It may be necessary
to add more water if the beans get too dry. Fifteen minutes before beans are
done, mash about a half cup of the stuff against the side of the pan to thicken
the liquid. Pour the beans and liquid over some steaming rice that you've
made by following the directions above. This should provide a cheap nutritional
meal for about 6 people.
Hedonist's Deluxe
2 lobsters 2 qts water
seaweed ¼ lb butter
Steal two lobsters,
watching out for the claw thingies. Beg some seaweed from any fish market.
Cop the butter using the switcheroo method described in the Supermarket section
above. When you get home, boil the water in a large covered pot and drop in
the seaweed and then the lobsters. Put the cover back on and cook for about
20 minutes. Melt the butter in a sauce pan and dip the lobster pieces in it
as you eat. With a booster box, described later you'll be able to rip off
a bottle of vintage Pouilly-Fuisse in a fancy liquor store. Really, rice is
nice but...
FREE CLOTHING & FURNITURE
FREE CLOTHING
If shoplifting food
seems easy, it's nothing compared to the snatching of clothing. Shop only
the better stores. Try thing on in those neat secluded stalls. The less bulky
items such as shirts, vests, belts and socks can be tied around your waist
or leg with large rubber bands if needed. Just take a number of items in and
come out with a few less.
In some cities there
are still free stores left over from the flower power days. Churches often
have give-away clothing programs. You can impersonate a clergyman and call
one of the large clothing manufacturers in your area. They are usually willing
to donate a case or two of shirts, trousers or underwear to your church raffle
or drive to dress up skid row. Be sure to get your sizes. Tell them "your
boy" will pick up the blessed donation and you'll mention his company in the
evening prayers.
If you notice people
moving from an apartment or house, ask them if they'll be leaving behind clothing.
They usually abandon all sorts of items including food, furniture and books.
Offer to help them carry out stuff if you can keep what they won't be taking.
Make the rounds of a
fancy neighborhood with a truck and some friends. Ring doorbells and tell
the person who answers that you are collecting wearable clothing for the "poor
homeless victims of the recent tidal wave in Quianto a small village in Saudi
Arabia." You get the pitch. Make it food and clothing, and say you're with
a group called Heartline for Decency. A phony letter from a church might help
here.
The Salvation Army does
this, and you can pick up clothes from them at very cheap prices. You can
get a pair of snappy casual shoes for 25 cents in many bowling alleys by walking
out with them on your feet. If you have to leave your shoes as a deposit,
leave the most beat-up pair you can find.
Notice if your friends
have lost or gained weight. A big change means a lot of clothes doing nothing
but taking up closet space. Show up at dormitories when college is over for
the summer or winter season. Go to the train or bus stations and tell them
you left your raincoat, gloves or umbrella when you came into town. They'll
take you to a room with thousands of unclaimed items. Pick out what you like.
While there, notice a neat suitcase or trunk and memorize the markings. Later
a friend can claim the item. There will be loads of surprises in any suitcase.
We have a close friend who inherited ten kilos of grass this way.
Large laundry and dry
cleaning chains usually have thousands of items that have gone unclaimed.
Manufacturers also have shirts, dresses and suits for rockbottom prices because
of a crooked seam or other fuck-up. Stores have reduced rates on display models:
Mannequins are mostly all size 40 for men and 10 for women. Size 7 1/2 is
the standard display size for men's shoes. If you are these sizes, you can
get top styles for less than half price.
SANDALS
The Vietnamese and people
throughout the Third World make a fantastically durable and comfortable pair
of sandals out of rubber tires. They cut out a section of the outer tire (trace
around the outside of the foot with a piece of chalk) which when trimmed forms
the sole. Next 6 slits re made in the sole so the rubber straps can be criss-crossed
and slid through the slits. The straps are made out of inner tubing. No nails
are needed. If you have wide feet, use the new wide tread low profiles. For
hard going, try radials. For best satisfaction and quality, steal the tires
off a pig car or a government limousine.
Let's face it, if you
really are into beating the clothing problem, move to a warm climate and run
around naked. Skin is absolutely free, and will always be in style. Speaking
of style, the midi and the maxi have obvious advantages when it comes to shoplifting
and transporting weapons or bombs.
FREE FURNITURE
Apartment lobbies are
good for all kinds of neat furniture. If you want to get fancy about it, rent
a truck (not one that says U-HAUL-IT or other rental markings) and make the
pick-up with moving-man-type uniforms. When schools are on strike and students
hold seminars and debate into the night, Yippies can be found going through
the dorm lobbies and storage closets hauling off couches, desks, printing
supplies, typewriters, mimeos, etc. to store in secret underground nests.
A nervy group of Yippies in the Midwest tried to swipe a giant IBM 360 computer
while a school was in turmoil. All power to those that bring a wheelbarrow
to sit-ins.
Check into a high-class
hotel or motel remembering to dress like the wallpaper. Carry a large dummy
suitcase with you and register under a phony name. Make sure you and not the
bellboy carry this bag. Use others as a decoy. When you get inside the room,
grab everything you can stuff in the suitcase: radio, T.V. sets (even if it
has a special plug you can cut it with a knife and replace the cord), blankets,
toilet paper, glasses, towels, sheets, lamps, (forget the imitation Winslow
Homer on the wall) a Bible, soap and toss rugs. Before you leave (odd hours
are best) hang the DO NOT DISTURB sign on your doorknob. This will give you
an extra few hours to beat it across the border or check into a new hotel.
Landlords renovating
buildings throw out stoves, tables, lamps, refrigerators and carpeting. In
most cities, each area has a day designated for discarding bulk objects. Call
the Sanitation Department and say you live in that part of town which would
be putting out the most expensive shit and find out the pick-up day. Fantastic
buys can be found cruising the streets late at night. Check out the backs
of large department stores for floor models, window displays and slightly
damaged furniture being discarded.
Construction sites are
a good source for building materials to construct furniture. (Not to mention
explosives.) The large wooden cable spools make great tables. Cinderblocks,
bricks and boards can quickly be turned into a sharp looking bookcase. Doors
make tables. Nail kegs convert into stools or chairs. You can also always
find a number of other supplies hanging around like wiring, pipes, lighting
fixtures and hard hats. And don't forget those blinking signs and the red
lanterns for your own light show. Those black oil-fed burners are O.K. for
cooking, although smoky, and highway flares are swell for making fake dynamite
bombs.
FREE TRANSPORTATION
HITCH-HIKING
Certainly one of the
neatest ways of getting where you want to go for nothing is to hitch. In the
city it's a real snap. Just position yourself at a busy intersection and ask
the drivers for a lift when they stop for the red light. If you're hitching
on a road where the traffic zooms by pretty fast, be sure to stand where the
car will have room to safely pull off the road. Traveling long distances,
even cross-country, can be easy if you have some sense of what you are doing.
A lone hitch-hiker will
do much better than two or more. A man and woman will do very well together.
Single women are certain to get propositioned and possibly worse. Amerikan
males have endless sexual fantasies about picking up a poor lonesome damsel
in distress. Unless your karate and head are in top form, women should avoid
hitching alone. Telling men you have V.D. might help in difficult situations.
New England and the
entire West Coast are the best sections for easy hitches. The South and Midwest
can sometimes be a real hassle. Easy Rider and all that. The best season to
hitch is in the summer. Daytime is much better than night. If you have to
hitch at night, get under some type of illumination where you'll be seen.
Hitch-hiking is legal
in most states, but remember you always can get a "say-so" bust. A "say-so"
arrest is to police what Catch-22 is to the Army. When you ask why you're
under arrest, the pig answers, "cause I say-so." If you stand on the shoulder
of the road, the pigs won't give you too bad a time. If you've got long hair,
cops will often stop to play games. You can wear a hat with your hair tucked
under to avoid hassles. However this might hurt your ability to get rides,
since many straights will pick up hippies out of curiosity who would not pick
up a straight scruffy looking kid. Freak drivers usually only pick up other
freaks.
Once in a while you
hear stories of fines levied or even a few arrests for hitching (Flagstaff,
Arizona is notorious), but even in the states where it is illegal, the law
is rarely enforced. If you're stopped by the pigs, play dumb and they'll just
tell you to move along. You can wait until they leave and then let your thumb
hang out again.
Hitchin on super highways
is really far out. It's illegal but you won't get hassled if you hitch at
the entrances. On a fucked-up exit, take your chances hitching right on the
road, but keep a sharp eye out for porkers. When you get a ride be discriminating.
Find out where the driver is headed. If you are at a good spot, don't take
a ride under a hundred miles that won't end up in a location just as good.
When the driver is headed to an out-of-the-way place, ask him to let you off
where you can get the best rides. If he's going to a particularly small town,
ask him to drive you to the other side of thy town line. It's usually only
a mile or two. Small towns often enforce all sorts of "say-so" ordinances.
If you get stuck on the wrong side of town, it would be wise to even hoof
it through the place. Getting to a point on the road where the cars are inter-city
rather than local traffic is always preferable.
When you hit the road
you should have a good idea of how to get where you are going. You can pick
up a free map at any gas station. Long distance routes, road conditions, weather
and all sorts of information can be gotten free by calling the American Automobile
Association in any city. Say that you are a member driving to Phoenix, Arizona
or wherever your destination is, and find out what you want to know. Always
carry a sign indicating where you are going. If you get stranded on the road
without one, ask in a diner or gas station for a piece of cardboard and a
magic marker. Make the letters bold and fill them in so they can be seen by
drivers from a distance. If your destination is a small town, the sign should
indicate the state. For really long distances, EAST or WEST is best. Unless,
of course, you're going north or south. A phony foreign flag sewed on your
pack also helps.
Carrying dope is not
advisable, and although searching you is illegal, few pigs can read the Constitution.
If you are carrying when the patrol car pulls up, tell them you are Kanadian
and hitching through Amerika. Highway patrols are very uptight about promoting
incidents with foreigners. The foreign bit goes over especially well with
small-town types, and is also amazingly good for avoiding hassles with greasers.
If you can't hack this one, tell them you are a reporter for a newspaper writing
a feature story on hitching around the country. This story has averted many
a bust.
Don't be shy when you
hitch. Go into diners and gas stations and ask people if they're heading East
or to Texas. Sometimes gas station attendants will help. When in the car be
friendly as hell. Offer to share the driving if you've got a license. If you're
broke, you can usually bum a meal or a few bucks, maybe even a free night's
lodging. Never be intimidated into giving money for a ride.
As for what to carry
when hitching, the advice is to travel light. The rule is to make up a pack
of the absolute minimum, then cut that in half. Hitching is an art form as
is all survival. Master it and you'll travel on a free trip forever.
FREIGHTING
There is a way to hitch
long distances that has certain advantages over letting your thumb hang out
for hours on some two-laner. Learn about riding the trains and you'll always
have that alternative. Hitchhiking at night can be impossible, but hopping
a is easier at night than by day. By hitchhiking days and hopping freights
and sleeping on them at night, you can cover incredible distances rapidly
and stay well rested. Every city and most large towns have a freight yard.
You can find it by following the tracks or asking where the freight yard is
located.
When you get to the
yard, ask the workmen when the next train leaving in your direction will be
pulling out. Unlike the phony Hollywood image, railroad men are nice to folks
who drop by to grab a ride. Most yards don't have a guard or a "bull" as they
are called. Even if they do, he is generally not around. If there is a bull
around, the most he's going to do is tell you it's private property and ask
you to leave. There are exceptions to this rule, such as the notorious Lincoln,
Nebraska, and Las Vegas, Nevada, but by asking you can find out. Even if he
asks you to leave or throws you out, sneak back when your train is pulling
out and jump aboard.
After you've located
the right train for your trip, hunt for an empty boxcar to ride. The men in
the yards will generally point one out if you ask. Pig-sties, flat cars and
coal cars are definitely third class due to exposure to the elements. Boxcars
are by far the best. They are clean and the roof over your head helps in bad
weather and cuts down the wind. Boxcars with a hydro-cushion suspension system
used for carrying fragile cargo make for the smoothest ride. Unless you get
one, you should be prepared for a pretty bumpy and noisy voyage.
You should avoid cars
with only one door open, because the pin may break, locking you in. A car
with both doors open gives you one free chance. Pig-backs (trailers on flatcars)
are generally considered unsafe. Most trains make a number of short hops,
so if time is an important factor try to get on a "hot shot" express. A hot
shot travels faster and has priority over other trains in crowded yards. You
should favor a hot shot even if you have to wait an extra hour or two or more
to get one going your way.
If you're traveling
at night, be sure to dress warmly. You can freeze your ass off. Trains might
not offer the most comfortable ride, but they go through beautiful countryside
that you'd never see from the highway or airway. There are no billboards,
road signs, cops, Jack-in-the-Boxes, gas stations or other artifacts of honky
culture. You'll get dirty on the trains so wear old clothes. Don't pass up
this great way to travel cause some bullshit western scared you out of it.
CARS
If you know how to drive
and want to travel long distances, the auto transportation agencies are a
good deal. Look in the Yellow Pages under Automobile Transportation and Trucking
or Driveway. Rules vary, but normally you must be over 21 and have a valid
license. Call up and tell them when and where you want to go and they will
let you know if they have a car available. They give you the car and a tank
of gas free. You pay the rest. Go to pick up the car alone, then get some
people to ride along and help with the driving and expenses. You can make
New York to San Francisco for about eighty dollars in tolls and gas in four
days without pushing. Usually you have the car for longer and can make a whole
thing out of it. You must look straight when you go to the agency. This can
be simply be done by wetting down your hair and shoving it under a cap.
Another good way to
travel cheaply is to find somebody who has a car and is going your way. Usually
underground newspapers list people who either want rides or riders. Another
excellent place to find information is your local campus. Every campus has
a bulletin board for rides. Head shops and other community-minded stores have
notices up on the wall.
Gas
If you have a car and
need some gas late at night you can get a quart and then some by emptying
the hoses from the pumps into your tank. There is always a fair amount of
surplus gas left when the pumps are shut off.
If your traveling in
a car and don't have enough money for gas and tolls, stop at the bus station
and see if anybody wants a lift. If you find someone, explain your money situation
and make a deal with him. Hitch-hikers also can be asked to chip in on the
gas.
You can carry a piece
of tubing in the trunk of your car and when the gas indicator gets low, pull
up to a nice looking Cadillac on some dark street and syphon off some of his
gas. Just park your car so the gas tank is next to the Caddy's, or use a large
can. Stick the hose into his tank, suck up enough to get things flowing, and
stick the other end into your tank. Having a lower level of liquid, you tank
will draw gas until you and the Caddy are equal. "To each according to his
need, from each according to his ability," wrote Marx. Bet you hadn't realized
until now that the law of gravity affects economics.
Another way is to park
in a service station over their filler hole. Lift off one lid (like a small
manhole cover), run down twenty feet of rubber tubing thru the hole you've
cut in your floorboard, then turn on the electric pump which you have installed
to feed into your gas tank. All they ever see is a parked car. This technique
is especially rewarding when you have a bus.
BUSES
If you'd rather leave
the driving and the paying to them, try swiping a ride on the bus. Here's
a method that has worked well. Get a rough idea of where the bus has stopped
before it arrived at your station. If you are not at the beginning or final
stop on the route, wait until the bus you want pulls in and then out of the
station. Make like the bus just pulled off without you while you went to the
bathroom. If there is a station master, complain like crazy to him. Tell him
you're going to sue the company if your luggage gets stolen. He'll put you
on the next bus for free. If there is no station master, lay your sad tale
on the next driver that comes along. If you know when the last bus left, just
tell the driver you've been stranded there for eight hours and you left your
kid sleeping on the other bus. Tell him you called ahead to the company and
they said to grab the next bus and they would take care of it.
The next method isn't
totally free but close enough. It's called the hopper-bopper. Find a bus that
makes a few stops before it gets to where you want to go. The more stops with
people getting in our out the better. Buy a ticket for the short hop and stay
on the bus until you end up at your destination. You must develop a whole
style in order to pull this off because the driver has to forget you are connected
with the ticket you gave him. Dress unobtrusively or make sure the driver
hasn't seen your face. Pretend to be asleep when the short hop station is
reached. If you get questioned, just act upset about sleeping through the
stop you "really" want and ask if it's possible to get a ride back.
AIRLINES
Up and away, junior
outlaws! If you really want to get where you're going in a hurry, don't forget
skyjacker's paradise. Don't forget the airlines. They make an unbelievable
amount of bread on their inflated prices, ruin the land with incredible amounts
of polluting wastes and noise, and deliberately hold back aviation advances
that would reduce prices and time of flight. We know two foolproof methods
to fly free, but unfortunately we feel publishing them would cause the airlines
to change their policy. The following methods have been talked about enough,
so the time seems right to make them known to a larger circle of friends.
A word should be said
right off about stolen tickets. Literally millions of dollars worth of airline
tickets are stolen each year. If you have good underworld contacts, you can
get a ticket to anywhere you want at one-fourth the regular price. If you
are charged more, you are getting a slight rooking. In any case, you can get
a ticket for any flight or date and just trade it in. They are actually as
good as cash, except that it takes 30 days to get a refund, and by then they
might have traced the stolen tickets. If you can get a stolen ticket, exchange
or use it as soon as possible, and always fly under a phony name. A stolen
ticket for a trip around the world currently goes for one hundred and fifty
dollars in New York.
One successful scheme
requires access to the mailbox of a person listed in the local phone book.
Let's use the name Ron Davis as an example. A woman calls one of the airlines
with a very efficient sounding rap such as: "Hello, this is Mr. Davis' secretary
at Allied Chemical. He and his wife would like to fly to Chicago on Friday.
Could you mail two first-class tickets to his home and bill us here at Allied?"
Every major corporation probably has a Ron Davis, and the airlines rarely
bother checking anyway. Order your tickets two days before you wish to travel,
and pick them up at the mailbox or address you had them sent to. If you are
uptight in the airport about the tickets, just go up to another airline and
have the tickets exchanged.
One gutsy way to hitch
a free ride is to board the plane without a ticket. This is how it works.
Locate the flight you want and rummage through a wastebasket until you find
an envelope for that particular airline. Shuffle by the counter men (which
is fairly easy if it's busy). When the boarding call is made, stand in line
and get on the plane. Flash the empty envelope at the stewardess as you board
the plane. Carry a number of packages as a decoy, so the stewardess won t
ask you to open the envelope. If she does, which is rare, and sees you have
no ticket, act surprised. "Oh my gosh, it must have fallen out in the wash
room," will do fine. Run back down the ramp as if you're going to retrieve
the ticket. Disappear and try later on a different airline. Nine out of ten
revolutionaries say it's the only way to fly. This trick works only on airlines
that don't use the boarding pass system.
If you want to be covered
completely, use the hopper-bopper method described in the section on Buses,
with this added security precaution. Buy two tickets from different cashiers,
or better still, one from an agent in town. Both will be on the same flight.
Only one ticket will be under a phony name and for the short hop, white the
ticket under your real name will be for your actual destination. At the boarding
counter, present the short hop ticket. You will be given an envelope with
a white receipt in it. Actually, the white receipt is the last leaf in your
ticket. Once you are securely seated and aloft, take out the ticket with your
name and final destination. Gently peel away everything but the white receipt.
Place the still valid ticket back in your pocket. Now remove from the envelope
and destroy the short hop receipt. In its place, put the receipt for the ticket
you have in your pocket.
When you land at the
short hop airport, stay on the plane. Usually the stewardesses just ask you
if you are remaining on the flight. If you have to, you can actually show
her your authentic receipt. When you get to your destination, you merely put
the receipt back on the bonafide ticket that you still have in your pocket.
It isn't necessary that they be glued together. Present the ticket for a refund
or exchange it for another ticket. This method works well even in foreign
countries. You can actually fly around the world for $88.00 using the hopper-bopper
method and switching receipts.
If you can't hack these
shucks you should at least get a Youth Card and travel for half fare. If you
are over twenty-two but still in your twenties, you can easily pass. Get a
card from a friend who has similar color hair and eyes. Your friend can easily
get one from another airline. You can master your friend's signature and get
a supporting piece of identification from him to back up your youth card if
you find it necessary. If you have a friend who works for an airline or travel
agency, just get a card under your own name and an age below the limit. Your
friend can validate the card. Flying youth fare is on stand-by, so it's always
a good idea to call ahead and book a number of reservations under fictitious
names on the flight you'll be taking. This will fuck up the booking of regular
passengers and insure you a seat.
By the way, if you fly
cross-country a number of times, swipe one of the plug-in head sets. Always
remember to pack it in your traveling bag. This way you'll save a two dollar
fee charged for the in-flight movie. The headsets are interchangeable on all
airlines.
One way to fly free
is to actually hitch a ride. Look for the private plane area located at every
airport, usually in some remote part of the field. You can find it by noticing
where the small planes without airline markings take off and land. Go over
to the runways and ask around. Often the mechanics will let you know when
someone is leaving for your destination and point out a pilot. Tell him you
lost your ticket and have to get back to school. Single pilots often like
to have a passenger along and it's a real gas flying in a small plane.
Some foreign countries
have special arrangements for free air travel to visiting writers, artists
or reporters. Brazil and Argentina are two we know of for sure. Call or write
the embassy of the country you wish to visit in Washington or their mission
to the United Nations in New York. Writing works best, especially if you can
cop some stationery from a newspaper or publishing house. Tell them you will
be writing a feature story for some magazine on the tourist spots or handcrafts
of the country. The embassy will arrange for you to travel gratis aboard one
of their air force planes. The planes leave only from Washington and New York
at unscheduled times. Once you have the O.K. letter from the embassy you're
all set. This is definitely worth checking out if you want to vacation in
a foreign country with all sorts of free bonuses thrown in.
A one-way ride is easy
if you want to get into skyjacking. Keep the piece or knife in your shoe to
avoid possible detection with the "metal scanner," a long black tube that
acts like a geiger counter. Or use a plastic knife or bomb. It's also advisable
to wrap your dope in a non-metallic material. Avoid tinfoil.
The crews have instructions
to take you wherever you want to go even if they have to refuel, but watch
out for air marshals. To avoid air marshals and searches pick an airline which
flies short domestic hops. You should plan to end up in a country hostile
to the United States or you'll end up right back where you came from in some
sturdy handcuffs. One dude wanted to travel in style so he demanded $100,000
as a going-away gift. The airlines quickly paid off. The guy then got greedy
and demanded a hundred million dollars. When he returned to pick up the extra
pocket money, he got nabbed. None the less, skyjacking appears to be the cheapest,
fastest way to get away from it all.
IN CITY TRAVEL
Any of the public means
of transportation can be ripped off easily. Get on the bus with a large bill
and present it after the bus has left the stop. If the bus is crowded, slip
in the back door when it opens to dispatch passengers.
Two people can easily
get through the turnstile in a subway on one token by doubling up. In some
subway systems cards are given out to high school kids or senior citizens
or employees of the city. The next time you are in a subway station notice
people flashing cards to the man in the booth and entering through the "exit"
door. Notice the color of the card used by people in your age group. Get a
piece of colored paper in a stationery store or find some card of the same
color you need. Put this "card" in a plastic window of your wallet and flash
it in the same way those with a bona fide pass do.
Before entering a turnstile,
always test the swing bar. If someone during the day put in an extra token,
it's still in the machine waiting for you to enter free.
For every token and
coin deposited in an automatic turnstile, there is a foreign coin the same
size for much less that will work in the machine. (See the Yippie Currency
Exchange, following, for more info.) Buy a cheap bag of assorted foreign coins
from a dealer that you can locate in the Yellow Pages. Size up the coins with
a token from your subway system. You can get any of these coins in bulk from
a large dealer. Generally they are about l,000 for five dollars. Tell him
you make jewelry out of them if he gets suspicious. Giving what almost amounts
to free subway rides away is a communal act of love. The best outlaws in the
world rip-off shit for a lot more people than just themselves. Robin Hood
lives!
FREE LAND
Despite what you may
have heard, there is still some rural land left in Amerika. The only really
free land is available in Alaska and remote barren areas of the western states.
The latest information in this area is found in a periodic publication called
Our Public Lands, available from the Superintendent of Documents, Washington,
D.C. 20402. It costs $1.00 for a subscription. Also contact the U.S. Department
of the Interior, Bureau of Land Management, Washington, D.C. 20240 and ask
for information on "homesteading." By the time this book is out though, the
Secretary of the Interior's friends in the oil companies might have stolen
all the available free land. Being an oil company is about the easiest way
to steal millions. Never call it stealing though, always refer to it as "research
and development."
Continental United States
has no good free land that we know of, but there are some very low prices
in areas suited for country communities. Write to School of Living, Freeland,
Maryland, for their newspaper Green Revolution with the latest information
in this area. Canada has free land available, and the Canadian government
will send you a free list if you write to the Department of Land and Forests,
Parliament Building, Quebec City, Canada. Also write to the Geographical Branch,
Department of Mines and Technical Surveys, Parliament Building, Quebec City,
Canada. Correspondence can be carried out with the Communications Group, 2630
Point Grey Road, Vancouver 8, British Columbia, Canada, for advice on establishing
a community in Canada. The islands off the coast of British Columbia, its
western region and the area along the Kootenai River are among the best locations.
If you just want to
rip off some land, there are two ways to do it; openly or secretly. If you
are going to do it out front, look around for a piece of land that's in dispute,
which has its sovereignty in question-islands and deltas between the U.S.
and Canada, or between the U.S. and Mexico, or any number of other borderline
lands. You might even consider one of the abandoned oil-drilling platforms,
which are fair game under high seas salvage laws. The possibilities are endless.
If you intend to do
it quietly, you will want a completely different type of location. Find a
rugged area with lots of elbow room and plenty of places to hide, like the
Rocky Mountains, Florida swamps, Death Valley, or New York City. Put together
a tight band of guerrillas and do your thing. With luck you will last forever.
If you just want to
camp out or try some hermit living in the plushest surroundings available,
you'll do best to head for one of the national parks. Since the parks are
federal property, there's very little the local fuzz can do about you, and
the forest rangers are generally the live-and-let-live types, although there
have been increasing reports of long-hairs being vamped on by Smokey the Pig,
as in Yosemite. You can get a complete list from National Park Service, Department
of the Interior, Washington, D.C. 20240. The following is a list of some good
ones:
- ALABAMA-Russell Cave National
Monument, Bridgeport 35740
- ARIZONA-Grand Canyon National
Park, Box 129, Grand Canyon 86023
- ARKANSAS-Hot Springs National
Park, Box 1219, Hot Springs 71901
- CALIFORNIA-Yosemite National
Park, Box 577, Yosemite 95389*
- COLORADO-Rocky Mountain National
Park, Estes Park, 80517
- FLORIDA-Everglades National
Park, Box 279, Homestead 33030
- IDAHO-Boise National Forest,
413 Idaho Street, Boise 83702
- ILLINOIS-Shawnee National Forest,Harrisburg
National Bank Building, Harrisburg 62946
- KENTUCKY-Mammoth Cave National
Park, Mammoth Cave 42259
- LOUISIANA-Kisatchie National
Forest, 2500 Shreveport Hwy., Pineville 71360
- MAINE-Acadia National Park,
Box 338, Bar Harbor 04609
- MARYLAND-Assateague Island National
Seashore, Rte. 2 Box 111, Berlin 21811
- MASSACHUSETTS-Cape Cod National
Seashore, South Wellfleet 02663
- MICHIGAN-Hiawatha National Forest,
Post Office Building, Escanaba 49829
- MISSOURI-Mark Twain National
Forest, 304 Pershing St., Springfield 65806
- NEVADA-Lake Mead National Recreation
Area, 601 Nevada Hwy, Boulder City 89005
- NEW MEXICO-Aztec Ruins National
Monument, Route 1, Box 101, Aztec 87410
- NEW YORK-Fire Island National
Seashore c/o New York City National Park Service Group, 28 E. 20th St.,
New York, NY 10003
- NORTH CAROLINA-Wright Brothers
National Memorial Box 457, Manteo 27954
- OKLAHOMA-Platt National Park,
Box 201, Sulphur 73086
- OREGON-Crater Lake National
Park, Box 7, Crater Lake 97604
- UTAH-Bryce Canyon National Park,
Bryce Canyon 84717
- WYOMING-Yellowstone National
Park, Yellowstone Park 83020
*This summer Yosemite
forest rangers tried to evict a group of Yippies from their encampment. The
Yippies rioted in the valley, spooked the tourists, burned cars and fought
for their right to stay.
Earth People's Park
is an endeavor to purchase land and allow people to come and live for free.
They function as a clearing house for people that want to donate land and
those who wish to settle. They own 600 acres in northern Vermont and are trying
to raise money to buy more. Write to Earth People's Park, P.0. Box 313, 1230
Grant Ave., San Francisco, California 94133.
People's Parks are sprouting
up all over as people reclaim the land being ripped off by universities, factories,
and corrupt city planning agencies. The model is the People's Park struggle
in Berkeley during the spring of 1969. The people fought to defend a barren
parking lot they had turned into a community center with grass, swings, free-form
sculpture and gardens. The University of California, with the aid of Ronald
Reagan and the Berkeley storm troopers, fought with guns, clubs and tear gas
to regain the land from the outlaw people. The pigs killed James Rector and
won an empty victory. For now the park is fenced off, tarred over and converted
into unused basketball courts and unused parking lots. Not one person has
violated the oath never to set foot on the site. It stands, cold and empty,
two blocks north of crowded Telegraph Avenue. If the revolution does not survive,
all the land will perish under the steam roller of imperialism. People's Death
Valley will happen in our lifetime.
FREE HOUSING
If you are in a city
without a place to stay, ask the first group of hip-looking folks where you
can crash. You might try the office of the local underground newspaper. In
any hip community, the underground newspaper is generally the source of the
best up-to-the-moment information. But remember that they are very busy, and
don't impose on them. Many churches now have runaway houses. If you are under
sixteen and can hack some bullshit jive about "adjusting," "opening a dialogue,"
and "things aren't that bad," then these are the best deals for free room
and board. Check out the ground rules first, i.e., length of stay allowed,
if they inform your parents or police, facilities and services available.
Almost always they can be accepted at their word, which is something very
sacred to missionaries. If they became known as double-crossers, the programs
would be finished.
Some hip communities
have crash pads set up, but these rarely last more than a few months. To give
out the addresses we have would be quite impractical. We have never run across
a crash pad that lasted more than a month or so. If in a cit, try hustling
a room at a college dorm. This is especially good in summer or on week-ends.
If you have a sleeping bag, the parks are always good, as is "tar jungle"
or sleeping on the roofs of tall buildings. Local folks will give you some
good advice on what to watch out for and information on vagrancy laws which
might help you avoid getting busted.
For more permanent needs,
squatting is not only free, it's a revolutionary act. If you stay quiet you
can stay indefinitely. If you have community support you may last forever.
COMMUNES
In the city or in the
country, communes can be a cheap and enjoyable way of living. Although urban
and rural communes face different physical environments, they share common
group problems. The most important element in communal living is the people,
for the commune will only make it if everyone is fairly compatible. A nucleus
of 4 to 7 people is best and it is necessary that no member feels extremely
hostile to any other member when the commune gets started. The idea that things
will work out later is pig swill. More communes have busted up over incompatibility
than any other single factor. People of similar interests and political philosophies
should live together. One speed freak can wreck almost any group. There are
just too many day-to-day hassles involved living in a commune to not start
off compatible in as many ways as possible. The ideal arrangement is for the
people to have known each other before they move in together.
Once you have made the
opening moves, evening meetings will occasionally be necessary to divide up
the responsibilities and work out the unique problems of a communal family.
Basically, there are two areas that have to be pretty well agreed upon if
the commune is to survive. People's attitudes toward Politics, Sex, Drugs
and Decision-making have to be in fairly close agreement. Then the even most
important decisions about raising the rent, cleaning, cooking and maintenance
will have to be made. Ground rules for inviting non-members should be worked
out before the first time it happens, as this is a common cause for friction.
Another increasingly important issue involves defense. Communes have continually
been targets of attack by the more Neanderthal elements of the surrounding
community. In Minneapolis for example, "headhunts" as they are called are
commonplace. You should have full knowledge of the local gun laws and a collective
defense should be worked out.
Physical attacks are
just one way of making war on communes and, hence, our Free Nation. Laws,
cops, and courts are there to protect the power and the property of those
that already got the shit. Police harassment, strict enforcement of health
codes and fire regulations and the specially designed anti-commune laws being
passed by town elders, should all be known and understood by the members of
a commune before they even buy or rent property. On all these matters, you
should seek out experienced members of communes already established in the
vicinity you wish to settle. Work out mutual defense arrangements with nearby
families-both legal and extralegal. Remember, not only do you have the right
to self-defense, but it is your duty to our new Nation to erase the "Easy-Rider-take-any-shit"
image which invites attack. Let them know you are willing to defend your way
of living and your chances of survival will increase.
URBAN LIVING
If you're headed for
city living, the first thing you'll have to do is locate an apartment or loft,
an increasingly difficult task. At certain times of the year, notably June
and September, the competition is fierce because of students leaving or entering
school. If you can avoid these two months, you'll have a better selection.
A knowledge of your plans in advance can aid a great deal in finding an apartment,
for the area can be scouted before you move in. Often, if you know of people
leaving a desirable apartment, you can make arrangements with the landlord,
and a deposit will hold the place. If you let them know you're willing to
buy their furniture, people will be more willing to give you information about
when they plan to move. Watch out for getting screwed on exorbitant furniture
swindles by the previous tenants and excessive demands on the part of the
landlords. In most cities, the landlord is not legally allowed to ask for
more than one month's rent as security. Often the monthly rent itself is regulated
by a city agency. A little checking on the local laws and a visit to the housing
agency might prove well worth it.
Don't go to a rental
agency unless you are willing to pay an extra month's rent as a fee. Wanted
ads in newspapers and bulletin boards located in community centers and supermarkets
have some leads. Large universities have a service for finding good apartments
for administrators, faculty and students, in that order. Call the university,
say you have just been appointed to such-and-such position and you need housing
in the area. They will want to know all your requirements and rent limitations,
but often they have very good deals available, especially if you've appointed
yourself to a high enough position.
Aside from these, the
best way is to scout a desired area and inquire about future apartments. Often
landlords or rental agencies have control over a number of buildings in a
given area. You can generally find a nameplate inside the hall of the building.
Calling them directly will let you know of any apartments available.
When you get an apartment,
furnishing will be the next step. You can double your sleeping space by building
bunk beds. Nail two by fours securely from ceiling to floor, about three feet
from the walls, where the beds are desired. Then build a frame out of two
by fours at a convenient height. Make sure you use nails or screws strong
enough to support the weight of people sleeping or balling. Nail a sheet of
3/4 inch plywood on the frame. Mattresses and almost all furniture needed
for your pal can be gotten free (see section on Free Furniture). Silverware
can be copped at any self-service restaurant.
RURAL LIVING
If you are considering
moving to the country, especially as a group, you are talking about farms
and farmland. There are some farms for rent, and occasionally a family that
has to be away for a year or two will let you live on their farm if you keep
the place in repair. These can be found advertised in the back of various
farming magazines and in the classified sections of newspapers, especially
the Sunday editions. Generally speaking, however, if you're interested in
a farm, you should be considering an outright purchase.
First, you have to determine
in what part of the country you want to live in terms of the climate you prefer
and how far away from the major cities you wish to locate. The least populated
states, such as Utah, Idaho, the Dakotas, Montana and the like, have the cheapest
prices and the lowest tax rates. The more populated a state, and in turn,
the closer to a city, the higher the commercial value of the land.
There are hundreds of
different types of farms, so the next set of questions you'll have to raise
concerns the type of farm activity you'll want to engage in. Cattle farms
are different than vegetable farms or orchards. Farms come in sizes: from
half an acre to ranches larger than the state of Connecticut. They will run
in price from $30 to $3000 an acre, with the most expensive being prime farmland
in fertile river valleys located close to an urban area. The further away
from the city and the further up a hill, the cheaper the land gets. It also
gets woodier, rockier and steeper, which means less tillable land.
If you are talking of
living in a farm house and maybe having a small garden and some livestock
for your own use, with perhaps a pond on the property, you are looking for
what is called a recreational farm. When you buy a recreational farm, naturally
you are interested in the house, barn, well, fences, chicken-coop, corrals,
woodsheds and other physical structures on the property. Unless these are
in unusually good condition or unique, they do not enter into the sale price
as major factors. It is the land itself that is bought and sold.
Farmland is measured
in acreage; an acre being slightly more than 43,560 square feet. The total
area is measured in 40-acre plots. Thus, if a farmer or a real estate agent
says he has a plot of land down the road, he means a 40-acre farm. Farms are
generally measured this way, with an average recreational farm being 160 acres
in size or an area covering about 1/2 square mile. A reasonable rate for recreational
farmland 100 miles from a major city with good water and a livable house would
be about $50 per acre. For a 160-acre farm, it would be $8,000, which is not
an awful lot considering what you are getting. For an overall view, get the
free catalogues and brochures provided by the United Farm Agency, 612 W. 47th
St., Kansas City, Mo. 64112.
Now that you have a
rough idea of where and what type of farm you want, you can begin to get more
specific. Check out the classified section in the Sunday newspaper of the
largest city near your desired location. Get the phone book and call or write
to real estate agencies in the vicinity. Unlike the city, where there is a
sellers' market, rural estate agents collect their fee from the seller of
the property, so you won't have to worry about the agent's fee.
When you have narrowed
down the choices, the next thing you'll want to look at is the plot book for
the county. The plot book has all the farms in each township mapped out. lt
also shows terrain variations, type of housing on the land, location of rivers,
roads and a host of other pertinent information. Road accessibility, especially
in the winter, is an important factor. If the farms bordering the one you
have selected are abandoned or not in full use, then for all intents and purposes,
you have more land than you are buying.
After doing all this,
you are prepared to go look at the farm itself. Notice the condition of the
auxiliary roads leading to the house. You'll want an idea of what sections
of the land are tillable. Make note of how many boulders you'll have to clear
to do some planting. Also note how many trees there are and to what extent
the brush has to be cut down. Be sure and have a good idea of the insect problems
you can expect. Mosquitoes or flies can bug the shit out of you. Feel the
soil where you plan to have a garden and see how rich it is. If there are
fruit trees, check their condition. Taste the water. Find out if hunters or
tourists come through the land. Examine the house. The most important things
are the basement and the roof. In the basement examine the beams for dry rot
and termites. See how long it will be before the roof must be replaced. Next
check the heating system, the electrical wiring and the plumbing. Then you'll
want to know about services such as schools, snow plowing, telephones, fire
department and finally about your neighbors. If the house is beyond repair,
you might still want the farm, especially if you are good at carpentry. Cabins,
A-Frames, domes and tepees are all cheaply constructed with little experience.
Get the materials from your nearest military installation.
Finally, check out the
secondary structures on the land to see how usable they are. If there is a
pond, you'll want to see how deep it is for swimming. If there are streams,
you'll want to know about the fishing possibilities; and if large wooded areas,
the hunting.
In negotiating the final
sales agreement, you should employ a lawyer. You'll also want to check out
the possibility of negotiating a bank loan for the farm. Don't forget that
you have to pay taxes on the land, so inquire from the previous owner or agent
as to the tax bill. Usually, you can count on paying about $50 annually per
40-acre plot.
Finally, check out the
federal programs available in the area. If you can learn the ins and outs
of the government programs, you can rip off plenty. The Feed-Grain Program
of the Department of Agriculture pays you not to grow grain. The Cotton Subsidy
Program pays you not to grow cotton. Also look into the Soil Bank Program
of the United States Development Association and various Department of Forestry
programs which pay you to plant trees. Between not planting cotton and planting
trees, you should be able to manage.
LIST OF COMMUNES
The most complete list
of city and country communes is available for $1.00 from Alternatives Foundation,
Modern Utopian, 1526 Gravensteur Highway North, Sebastopol, California 95427.
The phone is (707) 823-6168. The list is kept up to date. For all communes,
you must write in advance if you plan to visit. Almost every commune will
give you information about the local conditions and the problems they face
if you write them a letter. Here is a list of some you might like to write
to for more information. Avoid becoming a free-loader on your sisters and
brothers.
- California
- ALTERNATIVES FOUNDATION-Box
1264, Berkeley, California 94709. (Dick Fairfield) Communal living,
total sexuality, peak experience training centers. Dedicated to the
cybernated-tribal society.
- BHODAN CENTER OF INQUIRY-Sierra
Route, Oakhurst, California 93644. Phone (209) 683-4976.. (Charles Davis)
Seminars on Human Community, IC development on the land, founded 1934,
13 members. Trial period for new members. Visitors check in advance.
- Colorado
- DROP CITY-Rt. 1, Box 125,
Trinidad, Colorado 81082. Founded 1965. New members must meet specific
criteria. Anarchist, artist, dome houses.
- New Mexico
- LAMA FOUNDATION-Box 444,
San Cristobal, N.M.
- New York
- CITY ISLAND COMMUNE-284
City Island Avenue, Bronx, NY. Visitors check in advance. Revolutionary.
- ATLANTIS I-RFD 5, Box 22A,
Saugerties, NY 12477. Visitors and new members welcome.
- Oregon
- FAMILY OF MYSTIC ARTS--Box
546, Sunny Valley, Oregon
- Pennsylvania
- TANGUY HOMESTEADS-West Chester,
Pennsylvania. Suburban, non-sectarian, co-op housing and community fellowship.
- Washington
- MAGIC MOUNTAIN-52nd and
19th Streets, Seattle, Washington. (c/o Miriam Roder).
FREE EDUCATION
Usually when you ask
somebody in college why they are there, they'll tell you it's to get an education.
The truth of it is, they are there to get the degree so that they can get
ahead in the rat race. Too many college radicals are two-timing punks. The
only reason you should be in college is to destroy it. If there is stuff that
you want to learn though, there is a way to get a college education absolutely
free. Simply send away for the schedule of courses at the college of your
choice. Make up the schedule you want and audit the classes. In smaller classes
this might be a problem, but even then, if, the teacher is worth anything
at all, he'll let you stay. In large classes, no one will ever object.
If you need books for
a course, write to the publisher claiming you are a lecturer at some school
and considering using their book in your course. They will always send you
free books.
There are Free Universities
springing up all over our new Nation. Anybody can teach any course. People
sign up for the courses and sometimes pay a token registration fee. This money
is used to publish a catalogue and pay the rent. If you're on welfare you
don't have to pay. You can take as many or as few courses as you want. Classes
are held everywhere: in the instructor's house, in the park, on the beach,
at one of the student's houses or in liberated buildings. Free Universities
offer courses ranging from Astrology to the Use of Firearms. The teaching
is usually of excellent quality and you'll learn in a community-type atmosphere.
LIST OF FREE UNIVERSITIES
- Alternative University-69 W.
14th St., New York, NY 10011 (catalogue on request)
- Baltimore Free U-c/o Harry,
233 E. 25th St., Baltimore, Maryland 21218
- Berkeley Free U-1703 Grove St.,
Berkeley, California 94709
- Bowling Green Free U-c/o Student
Council, University of Bowling Green, Bowling Green Ohio 43402
- Colorado State Free U-Box 12-Fraisen,
Colorado State College, Greeley, Colorado 80631
- Detroit Area Free U-Student
Union, 4001 W. McNichols Rd., Detroit, Michigan 48221
- Detroit Area Free U-343 University
Center, Wayne State University, Detroit, Mich.
- Georgetown Free U-Loyola Bldg.,
28, Georgetown University Washington D.C. 20007
- Golden Gate Free U-2120 Market
St., Rm. 206, San Francisco, California 94114
- Heliotrope-2201 Filbert, San
Francisco, California 94118
- Illinois Free U-298A Illini
Union, University of Illinois, Champaign, Illinois 61820
- Kansas Free U-107 W. 7th St.,
Lawrence, Kansas 66044
- Knox College Free U-Galesbury,
Illinois 60401
- Madison Free U-c/o P. Carroll,
1205 Shorewood Blvd., Madison, Wisconsin 53705
- Metropolitan State Free U-Associated
Students, 1345 Banrock St., Denver, Colorado 80204
- Michigan State Free U-Associated
Students, Student Service Bldg., Michigan State College, East Lansing, Michigan
48823
- Mid-Peninsula Free U-1060 El
Camino Real, Menlo Park, California 94015
- Minnesota Free U-1817 S. 3rd
St., Minneapolis, Minnesota 55404
- Monterey Peninsula Free U-2120
Etna Place, Monterey, California New Free U-Box ALL 303, Santa Barbara,
California 93107
- Northwest Free U-Box 1255, Bellingham,
Washington 98225
- Ohio-Wesleyan Free U-Box 47-Welsh
Hall, Ohio Wesleyan University, Delevan, Ohio 43015
- Pittsburgh Free U-4401 Fifth
Ave., Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 15213 Rutgers Free U-Rutgers College, Student
Center, 1 Lincoln Ave., Newark, NJ 07102
- St. Louis Free U-c/o Student
Congress, 3rd floor BMC, St. Louis University, St. Louis, Missouri 63103
- San Luis Obispo Free U-Box 1305,
San Luis Obispo, California 94301
- Santa Cruz Free U-604 River
St., Santa Cruz, California 95060
- Seattle Free U-4144½ University
Way NE, Seattle, Washington 98105
- Southern Illinois Free U-Carbondale,
Illinois 62901
- Valley Free U-2045 N. Wishon
Ave., Fresno, California 93704
- Washington Area Free U-5519
Prospect Place, Chevy Chase, Maryland 20015 and 1854 Park Rd. NW, Washington,
D.C. 20010
- Wayne-Locke Free U-Student Congress,
University of Texas, Arlington, Texas 76010
And a complete list
of experimental schools, free universities, free schools, can be obtained
by sending one dollar to ALTERNATIVES! 1526 Gravenstein Highway N., Sebastopol,
California 97452, and requesting the Directory of Free Schools.
7. FREE MEDICAL CARE
Due to the efforts of
the Medical Committee for Human Rights, the Student Health Organization and
other progressive elements among younger doctors and nurses. Free People's
Clinics have been happening in every major city. They usually operate out
of store fronts and are staffed with volunteer help. An average clinic can
handle fifty patients a day.
If you've had an accident
or have an acute illness, even a bad cold, check into the emergency room of
any hospital. Given them a sob story complete with phony name and address.
After treatment they present you with a slip and direct you to the cashier.
Just walk on by, as the song suggests. A good decoy is to ask for the washroom.
After waiting there a few moments, split. If you're caught sneaking out, tell
them you ran out of the house without your wallet. Ask them to bill you at
your phony address. This billing procedure works in both hospital emergency
rooms and clinics. You can keep going back for repeated visits up to three
months before the cashier's office tells the doctor about your fractured payments.
You can get speedy medical
advice and avoid emergency room delays by calling the hospital, asking for
the emergency unit and speaking directly to the doctor over the phone. Older
doctors frown on this procedure since they cannot extort their usual exorbitant
fee over the phone. Younger ones generally do not share this hang-up.
Cities usually have
free clinics for a variety of special ailments. Tuberculosis Clinics, Venereal
Disease Clinics, and Free Shot Clinics (yellow fever, polio, tetanus, etc.)
are some of the more common. A directory of these clinics and other free health
services the local community provides can be obtained by writing your Chamber
of Commerce or local Health Department.
Most universities have
clinics connected with their dental, optometry or other specialized medical
schools. If not for free, then certainly for very low rates, you can get dental
work repaired, eyeglasses fitted and treatment of other specific health needs.
Free psychiatric treatment
can often be gotten at the out-patient department of any mental hospital.
Admission into these hospitals is free, but a real bummer. Use them as a last
resort only. Some cities have a suicide prevention center and if you are desperate
and need help, call them. Your best choice in a psychiatric emergency is to
go to a large general hospital, find the emergency unit and ask to see the
psychiatrist on duty.
BIRTH CONTROL CLINICS
Planned Parenthood and
the Family Planning Association staff numerous free birth control clinics
throughout the country. They provide such services as sex education, examinations,
Pap smear and birth control information and devices. The devices include pills,
a diaphragm, or IUD (intra-uterine device) which they will insert. If you
are unmarried and under 18, you might have to talk to a social worker, but
it's no sweat because anybody gets contraceptive devices that wants them.
Call up and ask them to send you their booklets on the different methods of
birth control available.
If you would rather
go to a private doctor, try to find out from a friend the name of a hip gynecologist,
who is sympathetic to the fact that you're low on bread. Otherwise one visit
could cost $25.00 or more.
Before deciding on a
contraceptive, you should be hip to some general information. There has been
much research on the pill, and during the past 10 years it has proven its
effectiveness, if not is safety. The two most famous name brands are Ortho-Novum
and Envoid. They all require a doctor's prescription. Different type pills
are accompanied by slightly different instructions, so read the directions
carefully. In many women, the pills produce side effects such as weight increase,
dizziness or nausea. Sometimes the pill affects your vision and more often
your mood. Some women with specialized blood diseases are advised not to use
them, but in general, women have little or no trouble. Different brand names
have different hormonal balances (progesterone-estrogen). If you get uncomfortable
side effects, insist that your doctor switch your brand. If you stop the pill
method for any reason and don't want to get pregnant, be very careful to use
another means right away.
Another contraceptive
device becoming more popular is the IUD, or the loop. It is a small plastic
or stainless steel irregularly-shaped spring that the doctor inserts inside
the opening of the uterus. The insertion is not without pain, but it's safe
if done by a physician, and it's second only to the pill in prevention of
pregnancy. Once it's in place, you can forget about it for a few years or
until you wish to get pregnant. Doctors are reluctant to prescribe them for
women who have not borne children or had an abortion, because of the intense
pain that accompanies insertion. But if you can stand the pain associated
with three to four uterine contractions, you should push the doctor for this
method. Inserting it during the last day of your period will make it easier.
The diaphragm is a round
piece of flexible rubber about 2 inches in diameter with a hard rubber rim
on the outside. It used to be inserted just before the sex act, but hip doctors
now recommend that it be worn continuously and taken out every few days for
washing and also during the menstrual period. It is most effective when used
with a sperm-killing jelly or cream. A doctor will fit you for a proper size
diaphragm.
The next best method
is the foams that you insert twenty minutes before fucking. The best foams
available are Delfen and Emko. They have the advantage of being nonprescription
items so you can rush into any drug store and pick up a dispenser when the
spirit moves you. Follow the directions carefully. Unfortunately, these foams
taste terrible and are not available in flavors. It just shows you how far
science has to go.
Another device is the
prophylactic, or rubber as it is called. This is the only device available
to men. It is a thin rubber sheath that fits over the penis. Because they
are subject to breaking and sliding off, their effectiveness is not super
great. If you are forced to use them, the best available are lubricated sheepskins
with a reservoir tip.
The rhythm method or
Vatican roulette as it is called by hip Catholics, is a waste unless you are
ready to surround yourself with thermometers, graphs and charts. You also
have to limit your fucking to prescribed days. Even with all these precautions,
women have often gotten pregnant using the rhythm method.
The oldest and least
effective method is simply for the male to pull out just before he comes.
There are billions of sperm cells in each ejaculation and only one is needed
to fertilize the woman's egg and cause a pregnancy. Most of the sperm is in
the first squirt, so you had better be quick if you employ
